Whether you’re new to the club or a longtime member, infertility doesn’t really get any easier to deal with, psychologically or otherwise. It’s a situation often likened to “walking a winding path” or “riding a rollercoaster of emotions,” though these analogies feel just a tad reductive considering the absolute hell we’re put through when trying to conceive.
No pat on the back or Hallmark card can lessen the blow of crying over the blood in the toilet that indicates another unsuccessful cycle.
Throughout my struggle with infertility, I was searching for someone who “got it.” A safe place to share the burden as it weighed on me. Someone who knew the good, bad, hope, despair, and awkward humor that comes with seemingly endless infertility. However, what I discovered along the way is that not every group was filled with positive energy.
During the year-plus that dragged on before my husband and I were able to conceive our daughter, I searched high and low for online infertility resources that could help and were trusted and offered a safe space. While I stumbled across plenty of generic (and even embarrassing) websites, a few stood out as genuine support networks that deserve a shoutout for hopeful parents everywhere.
Here are some of the most meaningful groups I relied on to keep me moving forward throughout my infertility experience.
RESOLVE
The National Infertility Association (resolve.org) is a widely recognized authority on infertility, from how to navigate potential treatments to what legislation threatens our freedoms. This site is full of insights to guide you toward the right choice for your situation, whether that’s family-building professionals, biology lessons, or support groups based on your unique goals and needs.
What I love most about RESOLVE is their approach: they lay everything out for you in factual and clear terms, providing you with a toolbox that’s both scientific and sympathetic. There’s a sense of “We’re here for you!” that isn’t mushy-gushy or condescending—it’s real, and it’s driven by a physician council that ensures you have access to the most current and helpful information in the field.
Pregnantish
Another online comrade I recommend is “ovary-achiever” Andrea Syrtash, whose website pregnantish.com acts as a meeting place for those of us who know what it’s like to be turned into pin cushions during batteries of fertility tests and exams. Andrea herself attests that her lived experience of infertility led her to start the site when she saw a gap in support and wanted to fill it.
The blog—comprised of essays written by editors and guest contributors alike—serves as a reminder that so many of us are asking the same questions, harboring the same worries, and enduring the same despair… and it does so without reducing your incredibly vulnerable circumstances down to a cliche.
Pregnantish is efficiently categorized (with tabs including singles, couples, LGBTQ+, and more) so you can quickly find the content that’s relevant to you, and nothing about it comes off as cringy or preachy. While a collective trauma doesn’t just erase our individual pain, networks like Pregnantish offer hope in a safe space to learn, mourn, and keep going.
Infertility Unfiltered
The women behind infertilityunfiltered.com excel at relating to you on a personal level because they’ve sat on the other side of the screen looking for an explanation too. Infertility Unfiltered is structured as a membership program that aims to destigmatize infertility and assist those affected through peer-led sessions, instructional videos, and even in-person events. As they put it, “This is not your average support group.”
From classes on donor conception to a “no bullshit” infertility survival guide, Infertility Unfiltered feels like confiding in your closest friends who are also having trouble getting pregnant. They’ve created a private virtual community that’s reminiscent of a coffee shop meetup, but in this case, it’s a hub for information sharing where people grappling with infertility can get some answers and inspiration for the next steps.
And as a scientist myself, I appreciate that a team of medical professionals oversees their content, which emphasizes “Education, Support, and Sisterhood.” The honest input that science and expertise provided were critical for making progress and keeping my chin up, and Infertility Unfiltered makes sure that support goes hand-in-hand with the best information available.
InCircle Fertility
Founder Abbe Feder is a good friend of mine whose struggles with infertility and pregnancy loss left an indelible mark on her as a person. She felt compelled to help others navigate the process after making it through so much heartbreak to welcome her twin babies. Her organization exists to meet you right where you are, whether it’s at the very beginning of trying to get pregnant or much further into the experience.
InCircle Fertility (incirclefertility.com) is meant to bridge the gap between the clinical and emotional sides of the experience, both of which can be stark and lacking on their own. Their organized coaching places empathy above all else, so you’re comfortable asking questions and going to medical appointments. Abbe knows how you’re feeling, and it’s exactly why InCircle Fertility works so well to support us as complex individuals.
PherDal (We’re in Your Corner, Too)
You might be thinking, “How does a self-insemination kit foster an infertility support network?” My initial reaction to an unexplained infertility diagnosis in 2017 was laughter—as a PhD scientist, I didn’t understand how a diagnosis in modern medicine could really have the word “unexplained” in it.
Shock, anger, and disappointment soon followed, but these emotions gave way to a determination to do something about it—and that something wasn’t going to be a $10,000 loan for in-clinic IUI. It didn’t seem like the ideal first option for us at that stage, so I put on my PhD hat and used my knowledge and skills to take back control over my life.
Today, we’re the proud parents of two wonderful kids, and we’re sharing the ICI kit we created to give everyone the best shot possible at overcoming infertility without breaking the bank. We’re the first (and ONLY!) self-insemination kit on the market that’s 100% guaranteed sterile and FDA-cleared, ensuring that you have every advantage in your corner.
That’s why we crowdfunded hundreds of thousands of dollars to test the PherDal kit with the largest cohort of any kit on the market. We’ve also got plenty of resources like our ovulation tracking guide to help you use your kit as effectively as possible. Everyone deserves to have uncompromised support from the people (and products) they include on their infertility journey—and I’m fighting to make sure you always get the most out of your efforts.
Support in All Its Forms
None of us want to be in the infertility club, which is why it’s so important to be surrounded by scientific facts and accurate information. A quality infertility support network could be a safe place you didn’t realize you needed. It made a huge difference for me, and without that support, I wouldn’t be here today with my two beautiful children.
Our patented, 100% sterile, FDA-cleared self-insemination kit is enabling couples and single mothers by choice to expand their families on their own terms. No expensive or invasive procedures: just you and a partner or donor in the privacy of your home, for less than $200 per cycle.
Our network of PherDal families is here to lend a helping hand during your infertility experience—and we’re putting the power of the best ICI kit on the market in yours.
